new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
