If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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