I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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