Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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