PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize