i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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