"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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