glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
