Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
