Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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