Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just had sex on a roof
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize