Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
