How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
