if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
