dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
