omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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