haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
