her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Reggie can tackle my bush.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
