the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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