I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
