How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
