I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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