sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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