last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
