I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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