I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
