can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize