I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
