I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my poor anus
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
