sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
