are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
