i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
