I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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