You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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