Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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