it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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