His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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