i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
