A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
