dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
