so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
