WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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