i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
