So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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