we have officially lost it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
