When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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