You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
organizing the empties. That sober.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
