Its about making memories worth repressing
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
