WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
