That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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