it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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