dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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