i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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