i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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