I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
