5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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