Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
