whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
