You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
