we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
