My hand turned me down
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
