At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
