I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
