Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
