Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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