If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Rumble strips road head = magical
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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