she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
