Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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