it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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