I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
