she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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