I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize