Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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