So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
