sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
